I thought I would extricate myself from my role as blog publisher to be a guest blogger this week. So, prepare yourself for bad dad jokes and all; though a month into our travels, I’ve now been limited to 2 per day to keep peace with my traveling partner.
Here are my impressions on Safari and of course, I will tell like it is…
Having never been on safari and only having idealized images of it in my head, I will start by saying the wildlife is amazing and the differing terrains and ecosystems are utterly astounding. We’ve had beautiful sunsets and sunrises, been less than 5 feet from lions, cheetahs, elephants, giraffes (and others) all in their natural habitats. It’s pretty dang cool, even if it is just watching a lion sleeping in a bush.
That said, wildlife is wild for a reason… it is highly unpredictable. You can sit and watch two hunting lions for an hour and have absolutely nothing happen. Or you can pull up to a spot where lions were just seen and within seconds one of them jumps out of the bushes and takes down a gazelle. And of course, guess which one I had the camera ready for! 🤦♂️ Alternatively, you can stick around watching a male and female lion that might be mating (an activity that is supposed to happen roughly every 20 mins or so for 8 days) just to find out they are likely brother and sister. Though, on one occasion it turned out they were a mated pair and I’m glad I didn’t blink because that 3 seconds of action happens real fast! (Mark, no need to comment… this setup is too easy!). Oh, and btw, when the female was done with the male she climbed a tree and got away from that guy. We were lucky to see two lions brothers playing with other and elephant siblings as well.
In northern Serengeti, the big activity from June to August is the great migration… 2 million gnu (wildebeest) and zebras following the rain North and needing to cross crocodile infested waters to get there. Definitely a recipe for some interesting action. However, once again the unpredictability of wildlife comes into play. A massive herd will drive itself right to the edge of the river causing swarms of safari trucks to rush to an observation point and then… wait. You can sit in that same spot for hours or all day as some people did just to have the herd walk away and go a different direction. We got very lucky and saw 3 crossings in 1.5 days, others (we heard) saw just 1 crossing in 4 days of waiting.
One of our crossings was perfectly setup to be an action packed day. When we arrived at a crossing spot (1.5 hour drive from our lodge), the herd of Gnu was clearly anxious and looking for a path down to the river. As we were checking out the herd with binoculars, Ilene spotted 3 crocodiles in the water… oh yea, game on! A couple of the Gnu went down to the water with 20 or 30 following them and I’m thinking “OK! Here we go!”. Then… they turned around and ran back up the bluff. The whole herd moved away from the river and we waited another 30 minutes until I decide I need to use a bush toilet. Keep in mind, you can’t get out of the vehicle (more on that later) so the guide has to drive somewhere safe and private enough. Just as we are starting the truck, 10 or 15 Gnu come running back and plunge into the water to cross and the whole herd (maybe 500) follow - less than 100 feet from the crocodiles! Apparently, not only is it high season for safaris , but it’s also high season for the crocodiles because they didn’t even move! Damn wildlife! Spoiling the show. Our guide said, they likely ate yesterday and weren't hungry... ugh.
After our little half day safari in Kruger, South Africa, where it felt like a big zoo, I thought to myself… "I’m not sure why anyone would go on Safari more than once in their lifetime”. But, after seeing the unpredictability of it all I can now see how someone might want to come back.
Now, let’s talk transportation… Almost all of the vehicles are these customized Toyota 4x4 Land Cruisers that seat 7 passengers and have tops that pop-up so you can stand for better views while stationary or, yes, while driving around the bush. Everything is bolted in place to withstand the shocks and bumps... these vehicles take some serious abuse. This also means the seats don’t move or adjust, so anyone 6 feet or taller should be prepared to get creative when sitting and be prepared for bruised knees no mater what.
Safari is all about the game drive. To protect the ecosystem the trucks typically need to stay on prescribed “roads” and/or game trail “paths”. Most roads are combo of hard packed dirt, rocks, and potholes which make for a lovely bumpy, teeth rattling, experience known as the “African Massage” and the drivers can hit 30 to 40 mph, really shaking you to your bones. The game trail paths are just that… paths carved through the terrain by safari vehicles but with uneven terrain, that gyrates you from side to side making you grab anything you can to stay in your seat and really engaging your core and neck muscles. And the drivers won’t typically make it out of second gear. For perspective… my Apple watch told me I had achieved my exercise and activity goals for the day after just 30 minutes of driving.
The game drive itself might often start before dawn with either an early breakfast or breakfast on the road and a box lunch in hand. (Pro tip: Don’t drink too much coffee or liquid of any sort before hitting the road. We wish we’d brought electrolyte gels or something to stay hydrated.) You start with your African massage for an hour, with plenty of dust as a snack, then spend the morning sitting, standing in the truck, swaying as you drive around searching for interesting activity. Side note, after your first day or two of safari and to quote a friend of ours, "interesting" is defined as killing or mating. Or in our case any chance to be up close for a selfie. After driving around all morning you eat your boxed lunch in the truck or hopefully find a nice picnic site to enjoy a view point (with a flushing toilet!) Then you drive around until about 5p looking for more activity.
Point is, these are long days with lots of sitting. And while our watches thought we’d been active, the truth is we realized around day 9 that we had barely walked anywhere over the course of the safari. A lot of that is due to the fact that you can’t be outside by yourself when it is dark due to the very real chance of encountering wildlife and, you know, dying. In fact, one night while we were at dinner one of the staff went to prep our tent for the night (close flaps, etc) and upon walking out of the tent found 7 lions staring at him from just outside our front door. That kinda rules out a nice after dinner stroll or predawn yoga on the front stoop. Also, you generally aren't allowed to get out of the vehicles except at designated spots, because wildlife is everywhere and unpredictable.
Just a couple final thoughts…
August is amazing here in Tanzania. While it is considered winter, that just means dry, cool, and some cloud cover… can’t ask for more. And… we didn’t see a single mosquito!
If you asked, would I do a 9 day safari again? The answer would likely be… no, once in a lifetime is plenty. Though now that I’ve done it, I’d be willing to do a couple days for a specific purpose like Uganda for gorillas as part of a bigger trip or on the way somewhere.
What would I do differently? We would build a couple more “soft days” or better yet a couple days where you arrange a hike with a ranger (who carries a gun for your protection). Something that gets you away from the truck for a day.
Well, that's it from me for now. The editor tells me if I get enough likes on this blog, I might get the chance to write again. But, she's a pretty harsh critic.
I think your editor will certainly allow you to continue being a contributing author. I enjoyed your blog very much, David, and I’m glad to see that my bad-dad-joke dry humor has been passed on to you. 😏🤣 in fact, I enjoyed it so much. I wanted to pass it on to a couple of friends who asked me if you write as well as your sister after reading your blog I would have to agree that is the case. Love to you both, dad.